Trusting God With the Outcome

I’m starting to think that maybe God has a hilarious sense of humour!?

You see, I have this terrible idea a lot of the time that I can do things in my own strength, ignore the God winks, and then BOOM!

My husband likes to call it ix35 syndrome.  In 2013, I had this idea that as my business was established, running smoothly and doing really well, that I would purchase my very first brand new car. Not just brand new to me, but straight off the lot, no kilometres with creamy leather goodness.

We had 50 per cent of the value and went to the bank to secure a personal loan for the rest. But that’s where the story takes a turn.

Declined!

“There’s no way!?” I ar……. We had no other debt other than our small mortgage, my husband had a long term government position, and I was taking a weekly wage and had done for years. It made no sense?

I wasn’t going to let that stop me!

Finance from Hyundai was the answer, I was sure.

Declined!

Even the salesman had no answer for why it was declined.

So while I’m charging ahead thinking of any possible way to get this dream car into my driveway I was actively ignoring my God time and all of the signs the Holy Spirit was throwing at me.

I think I’ve nailed it when I receive a phone call to say that my finance has somehow been approved and I can get my car.

But… not so fast

Colour I wanted… out of stock and unavailable for 6 weeks

Leather seats….not available in the model that is available

Promo upgrades are no longer available due to how much time has passed.

First world problems right?

So I take whatever model is there and convince myself that that is what I’m meant to have. It’s only a car and chastise myself for being so ungrateful and caring so much about a car.

But Big G has other plans for me.

Only 8 weeks after loving every minute of driving that car, we receive a formal offer to move our entire family to live in the United States for 2 years on deployment!

So not only did I have to pack up my entire life, but I now had to try and sell a brand new car that had depreciated as soon as I drove it home.

In true God style, He made me sweat it out until the week we were leaving and had to pay the balance that we couldn’t recoup from the sale.

And you’d think I’d had learnt my lesson, but it’s become a bit of a joke in my household, that any time I have these grand ideas my husband asks “Have you got ix35 syndrome?”

That’s my cue to ramp up my God time, rest in the stillness and really listen for what the Holy Spirit is trying to tell me. For me, it’s now 3 times a day – morning, noon and night.

Confession – Easily distracted by shiny things.

This time pulls me back to what matters, to trusting God with the outcome and being content that the roadblocks are there for a reason.

That I don’t need to know the why and all will be revealed in good time. God’s time!

Not only has it built my faith but my husband’s too. He does still struggle with Navara syndrome (aiming low, and not trusting we serve a BIG, BIG God)